Shopping With Myers
by The X-Filer
Summary: Agent George Myers is having fun out at the mall when he runs into the lovely Miss Scully who is not pleased to see him. Now he just can't help but help her shop. Chapter 2 UP!
1. Chapter 1

**Shopping With Myers**

**By**

**The X-Filer**

--

Agent George Myers grinned as he saw his target. He had decided to go shopping at the local mall and on his travels he saw the one and the only gorgeous Dana Scully... Without a Spooky escort! Myers pulled down his shirt and strolled casually over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Why hello gorgeous, fancy meeting you here" Scully stopped and stared coldly at him. He just smiled. "That look doesn't work no more on me" he squeezed her shoulders tighter.

"Myers, I'll give you ten seconds to take that arm off or I will remove it completely." Her voice dropped to a dangerous tone. But he didn't take it off straight away. Scully fumed "Myers!" he smiled.

"Wait, wait. 8...9...10" he said aloud and the released his arm. She raised an eyebrow at him. He shrugged. "What? You gave me 10 seconds I'm going to use it to my full advantage" Scully rolled her eyes and proceeded to move away from him. Myers, noting the obvious, placed his hands behind his back and took large steps behind her, following her every move. Scully sensed it and turned around.

"Myers! Can't you go and annoy someone else for a change?! I will give you 20 dollars if you would just go away!" Scully pleaded knowing Myers was a hard one to shake when he had put his mind to something. Myers thought for a moment.

"Ok" he agreed holding out his hand. Scully looked at the open palm shocked.

"Really? If I give you a 20, you will go away?" Scully was suspicious, Myers never gave in this easily.

"Hey hand it over or I will change my mind" Myers said winking. Scully, quicker than she'd like to admit, grabbed her wallet and pulled out a 20 shoving it into his hands.

"There, now Shoo already" Scully said waving her hands at him. Myers grinned and placed the 20 in his pocket.

"Nice doing business with you, mame" Myers bowed slightly before he wandered away. Scully watched him go and sighed with relief.

"Thankyou" She muttered as she walked towards the clothes section. Over the way Myers watched her walk and grinned again as he slowly walked towards her, he watched her move into the changing area. Myers grabbed a shirt from a rack and walked in a few minutes behind her and went into his own change room. He smiled as he looked at himself in the mirror.

"Time to have some fun"

Scully was trying on a new dress when all of a sudden she heard a familiar voice call out...

"MY GOD! THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER!"

Scully stop dead in her tracks, anger started to fume inside of her as she quickly got redressed and walked out of her room. She walked to the other end of the change room where the voice was coming from.

"SOMEONE HELP! THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER! OH THE HORROR!"

Suddenly Scully flew back the curtain.

"Myers! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Scully cursed so loud it made Myers jump with fright hitting the mirror. He rubbed his sore head.

"What the hell am I doing? What the hell are you doing? You nearly gave me a heart attack! Geez, I could have been naked for all you know!" Myers cursed back placing a hand on his chest. Scully rolled her eyes.

"Myers why are you following me? I thought we had a deal!"

"We did, you said to just go away but you didn't specify how long to go away for" Myers said smiling. Scully groaned loudly then threw the curtain shut and stomped out. Myers peeked out from the curtain and watched her leave.

"Hey you forgot the toilet paper!" He shouted after her.

"You have a 20 buy it yourself!" Scully shouted back.

"Well I would if I knew where they sold it!" Myers pushed back the curtain to see a lot of stares directed in his way. He put up his hand.

"Don't worry folks, false alarm." He moved out of the change room and tried to see where Scully had gone but he couldn't. He knew Scully hated when he followed her around but he just couldn't help himself, this was a moment he couldn't pass up. Myers set off in search of the lovely Miss Dana Scully and smiled to himself.

"Oh this is going to be a fun day"

--

**A/N**

**Hey, I have a mind block with a few other stories so I'm going to attempt a funny one**

**Let me know what you thought and if you want more**

**Thanks for reading everyone!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Shopping With Myers**

**2**

Myers watched from a distance as he saw a red head bobbing through the crowd of people before him. He smiled to himself as he saw Scully walk into a beauty hair and nails salon. Myers slipped through the crowd and peered through the window to where Scully had been seated at the very end of the room in front of a mirror. She was smiling up at the man who was going to style her hair and said something handing over some money, the man nodded and walked over to the counter. Just then Myers had a thought and he quietly slipped into the salon while Scully was ratting around in her purse for something. Myers went to the counter to where the man was standing.

"Hello? Can I help you?" The man asked smiling. Myers reached for his pocket and pulled out his FBI badge then in a really low tone spoke to the man.

"You see that woman over there?" He said gesturing to Scully. The man nodded and Myers continued. "She is a fugitive wanted by the FBI; she is armed, dangerous and should not be approached. The last person who came in contact with her, well lets just say he isn't coming back anytime soon." The salon man stood with his mouth open and was shaking slightly.

"Wha… what? Well what should I do? I have to cut her hair in a minute, I don't want to die!" The man said urgently as he peered back across at Scully who was reading a magazine and laughing. Myers bent low so only the man could hear.

"Run! Run for your life and don't look back!"

"Run?" The man was going white.

"Yes man! Run! They don't give me this badge to fool around with now run!" Before Myers knew it the man was out the door and running for the exit waving his hands franticly screaming "I don't want to die! I don't want to die" Myers laughed at himself as he turned back to Scully who was content with reading her magazine. Myers looked around the room and peered over the counter noticing the scissors that the man had dropped, reaching over he picked them up with the comb and saw what looked like some kind of surgical mask.

"Hmm, this could be fun." Myers reached over and picked up the mask and placed it over his face. He also found a cap that was hidden below the chair and put it on, then with the scissors and the comb he walked over to Scully and bent beside her to get a high chair to sit on. Scully smiled but didn't look up from her magazine.

"I know this was short notice with this appointment but my usual hair dresser is sick at the moment." She spoke to him. Myers nodded slightly as he picked up the comb and ran it though her hair.

"No problem, no problem" He said in a different accent. This is when Scully looked up in the mirror and saw a man with a surgical mask and cap on. She peered at him for a moment.

"Who are you and where is Steve?" She asked questioningly. Myers didn't make eye contact keeping his face hidden somewhat under the shadow of the cap.

"Steve… ah, Steve ran out, emergency, be back later, much later. Said to do pretty woman's hair." Myers cleared his throat and continued to comb Scully's hair. Scully eyed him suspiciously.

"Do I know you? You look familiar?" Scully said turning her head slightly. Myers shook his head.

"No, No. Me nobody. Me hair man. You want snip, snip or cut, cut?" Myers said noticing a blind fold and a spray bottle full of water.

"I just wanted a slight layering if this is ok?" Scully said as she relaxed a bit. Myers nodded slowly as he thought. _'What in the world is layering? Must be some retro hairstyle that you see on those street people' _

Myers nodded "Layering fine, me do layering, but first blindfold." Myers said handing her the blindfold. Scully took it in her hand.

"Blindfold? What do I need this for?"

"Surprise you I will, on on, put it on" Myers gestured to the blindfold. Scully felt a hard feeling in the pit of her stomach, but placed the blind fold on her head and took a deep breath. "So how long have you been hair dressing for anyway?" she asked curiously as she felt her hair being parted, combed and pulled.

"Long time, me professional" Myers took the scissors and placed some hair between the blades, just then a man called out.

"There's the man! Right there with that red head!" Scully turned her head and pulled the blindfold down as Myers jumped and closed his hand that had the scissors in them. There was a large snip sound as Scully felt the cold blade skim past her scalp. Scully jumped up from her seat and flew around. Pulling the cap and the mask from the 'hairdresser'. Myers swore there was fire coming out of her nostrils from the way that they were flaring when she realised who he was.

"MYERS!" Scully clenched her fist together. Myers pointed to her hair in waved his finger cautiously handing her the cap.

"Ah you kind of, may want to take this." He said backing away as Scully grabbed another mirror and managed to see the reflection of the back of her head. She almost fell over, there was a large diagonal line from where the scissors had cut a large part of her hair off almost to the scalp. Her eyes glazed over as they landed on Myers. Myers backed up.

"Ah now, its not that back gorgeous. Think of a happy place… and remember to murder is to kill, to murder is to kill…. Now repeat after me"

"To kill is to enjoy, and Myers you better start running cause when I catch up with you will wish you were dead!" Scully started for him, Myers backed up sharply and smacked into the shelf with all the glass and non glass bottles of different hair products on it, causing it to crash down on top of him breaking most of the bottles.

"Oof!" Myers groaned at the weight of the shelf. "A little help here" He motioned as he stuck his free hand up at Scully. Scully crossed her arms as the salon man shouted.

"That! That! That was my last No 2 Elvono Conditioner! You broke it! Arrest them!" He pointed to both Scully and Myers. Scully smiled as she looked down at him.

"See Myers this is why you don't… Wait a minute, them?" Scully turned and before she knew it the security guards had seized her by the arms and started to pull Myers out from under the shelf. "Now hang on a minute! What did I do?" She asked frustrated.

"You are in violation of property damage"

"Property damage? I didn't do anything!" She said as they started to pull her towards the door.

"No but your partner here did. Now come along we are going to need a statement from the both of you and ask you some questions" The security guard stated as she and Myers were pushed out the door.

"Partner? Partner? That thing standing there is not my partner, I despise him!" Scully growled angry. Myers looked at the guard that help him out from under the now destroyed shelf.

"She really does you know, there was this time when she got a ring stuck on her finger and I blackmailed her to pretend she was marrying me…" The security guard looked down at him.

"Blackmail is a federal offense" He said in a gruff tone. Myers gulped.

"Did I say blackmail, I meant… Hey did I tell you we are FBI Agents?" That's when the both security guards stopped.

"Ok let's see your badges" One of them remarked. Myers nodded and reached for his pocket.

"See here is…" Myers fished around in his pocket. "I know it is here somewhere it must have fallen out when I was under the shampoo shelf" He looked across at Scully who had also left her badge at home. "What you don't have yours either?" Scully glared at him.

"Well Agent Myers, shopping isn't usually dangerous enough to warrant carrying my FBI badge!" She growled at him. Myers glared back.

"Hey if you had just let me shop with you this wouldn't be happening!"

"Shop with me? Myers I can't even stand being in your presence let alone allowing you to use my credit card!..." She fumed back at him.

"Oh? I bet Spooky uses your credit card all the time?" Myers retorted in a suggestive tone.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" She turned on him.

"It means!..." Myers turned on her.

"Ok, break it up lovers. Geez!" Scully and Myers both started at the guard that had just spoken. Scully was the first to say something.

"We are not lovers!…" She started but Myers cut in.

"Now, now love. Let the man speak already…. Lovers really? I knew it!" Myers winked at Scully who rolled her eyes and turned to the guard. She placed a hand on his arm.

"Look this is all a big misunderstanding. Myers will pay for the damages…"

"Now hang on a second…"

"…. And we can just let this all go can't we?" Without realising it Scully gripped the guards arm tighter. The guard looked down at her hand then at her.

"Flirting with a security guard is an offense…" He stated loudly. Scully's eyes went wide.

"What?..." Myers laughed.

"Now you're in for it" But then the security guard grabbed his arm.

"You're not out of it yet. Blackmailing is also an offense."

"But… But it wasn't like that…" Myers pleaded but the guards pushed them along with a crowd of onlookers watching now.

"You two lovers can tell us all about it at the police station…" One of the guards said as they exited the building. Scully eyed Myers, then the guards.

"We're not lovers!"

**A/N**

**Hey all, it's been so so long!**

**Sorry about the wait. **

**Hope you like it. Let me know what you thought and if you want more. **

**Thanks for reading everyone! **


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